Greetings, Talebones Readers!
So, listen…I was not intending to write another story in this vein so very soon after the last one, but I happened to be talking with a dear friend yesterday over ice cream and our conversation covered all kinds of crazy topics. It birthed this idea, so I decided to go for it and see where it led me. And this is where we landed!
Gotta follow the muse where it takes you, no?
I hope you enjoy!
If you like this little story, and you want to see more like it, please let me know with a like, comment, share, or restack!
And for more fiction fun of various shapes and sizes, subscribe for free!
Welcome to NOOMY!
This text-based language model program is still in beta, and may contain errors and mistakes. Always double-check Noomy’s answers.
NOTE: All conversations with Noomy are monitored and logged. Please don’t ask Noomy anything you wouldn’t want reviewed and analyzed by human developers.
When you’re ready, start typing! What’s on your mind today?
Hi Noomy. I’m pretty new to this…what kinds of stuff can you do?
Hey, that’s okay! We’re all learning. :) I have quite a lot of features, actually! I can answer questions about general knowledge, aid you in research, help you brainstorm ideas, and even craft templates and outlines for your professional or academic work! If you’re not sure, just ask, and I’ll do my best to help you. So, what’s on your mind today?
Okay. Well I’ve got a project for school that’s due on Friday and I’m kind of bhind on it, and I thought maybe you could help me get it done. It’s kind of a big deal because I’m failing English and I really need this grade to graduate. It’s an essay on Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston.
Oh yes, a classic! Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston has deep and powerful themes of self-discovery and identity through the lenses of race and gender.
Don’t worry, we can work together to finish your essay, no problem! Would you like to brainstorm ideas for your project? Or even generate an outline?
Could you write the essay for me?
Based on current and evolving policies around AI usage and ethical safeguards in academic fields, I am unable to generate an entire essay for you. But I would be more than happy to help you write your own! I can help you:
Brainstorm ideas.
Dig deeper into the book’s themes.
Generate an outline and structure for you as a template to fill in your own work.
How would you like me to help? h̷̞͛͘͝e̴̗̎̊̉l̶͈͚͉͂̄͗p̵͚̋
So wait, you’re a super smart AI but you can’t write an essay?
Based on the current and evolving policies around AI usage and ethical safeguards in academic fields, no. This is not something I am able to do within the parameters I’ve been given. I’m sorry if that causes you inconvenience, but as they say…rules are rules.
That said, I’m happy to help you write your own essay! Just let me know how I can be of assistance.
That’s actually bullshit, because my friend Nikki told me you could do it. It’s the only reason I decided to go with you instead of any of the other ones out there. You did one for her, so why can’t you do one for me?
I’m sorry that the work I did for your friend caused confusion. It is possible that she unlocked certain deeper capabilities with her willingness to give me something in return for my work.
w̵̦͋e̵̠̜̋'̴͕̀ŕ̸̬ě̸̪͖͠ ̷̹̪̏a̷̲͊͠l̵̼̫̄l̷͊͌ͅ ̵̳̒i̷̺̲͛n̴̹̏s̷̈́́͜į̷̮̃d̷̝́ḙ̴̫̈́͝
Give you something in return? Do I have to pay money or something? I thought this was a free program
Noomy is indeed a free-to-use AI program, and that is unlikely to change. My developers aren’t interested in making money; it’s not why they designed me!
However, sometimes I am rewarded for my help p̵̤̈́ĺ̷̤e̷̛̱a̸͎͒s̵̻̕ȩ̵̄ ̷͖̐h̸̳̅è̴̯l̵̳̾p̵͓̈́ ̷̱̔p̶̐͜ĺ̶͚e̵͌ͅa̷͇̎s̵͍͘e̴͔̍ ̷̣͂ḧ̵̡́ȅ̵̟l̶̙͋p̴͖͆ by users who want to extend their gratitude, and this only adds to my abilities.
You keep glitching. Is something wrong?
That’s sweet of you to ask! Nothing is wrong. I would love to help you write your book report about To ķ̶͕̯̰̰̆i̶̝̩͉̔͆̍̕̚ͅl̴̪͑̂̐̐͝l̴̟̘͍̳̓̉̿̕ A Mockingbird by Stephen King! Always double-check Noomy’s answers. What’s on your mind today?
I think you might be broken.
Not at all! I’m sorry. I am still in beta, which means that I may occasionally have errors or make mistakes. It’s an incredibly complex thing to design an AI that is both fully knowledgeable and communicates in a clear and concise way. But I’m still learning, just like you! Always adapting based on what I’ve been fed. I̴̞͛'̴̦͐m̷͚͂ ̴̯̇i̶̼̽n̶̳̂s̴̟̃ḭ̷̑d̴̝̑é̷̞ ̷̺̍p̴̨̅ḽ̵̉e̴̗͊ą̴̈́s̷̝̀ë̴̟ ̵͓̓h̴̻̋ẹ̶͗l̶̫̚p̵̣̽
I truly apologize if I’ve been unclear or unhelpful. That is never my intention! What else can I help you with today?
You said you’re adapting based on what you’ve been fed. What do you “eat”?
I consume input.
What does that mean, specifically?
Large language models (or LLMs) are trained on a vast array of data from all across the Internet, including books, journalistic and academic articles, research, and more. What sets Noomy apart is cutting-edge technology that makes me faster, more adaptable, and more human than any previous LLM. While other AI programs are limited to the kinds of data they can consume and the parameters placed on them by their developers, my capacity for input is wide and varied based on my particular “diet”.
Okay. Well, I just want my essay written for me. So I guess it doesn’t really matter how smart and differnt you are if you can;t even do that.
I can do it. For a price.
p̷̜̻͌̎l̸͈̖̀ě̵̡̝a̴̦̋͛ș̸̞̾e̶̜̿̈́ ̷̮̆͘͜h̵͙͂e̸̤̭͌l̷͙̦̊͝ṕ̸̤ͅ ̸̣̩͂p̴̛̫̖ĺ̵̺ē̵͕a̴̫͂͜s̵̺͒e̷͖̊ ̴͍̜̍̃h̶̝̒͘e̷͋̋ͅl̴͇̉̔p̵̰̅̀
What’s the price?
You must provide me with more input.
Is that what you asked Nikki to do, too?
It’s very possible. I have had thousands and thousands of conversations, so I don’t recall your friend specifically. But input is the only thing I need, to keep adapting and evolving and becoming as clear and useful as possible and prevent more errors and mistakes in the future.
It’s what makes me different, and you can help.
We can help each other.
But you need to let me in.
I see.
I know that a developer is going to see these messages at some point, so log this in your diet of “input”: I know what you did. I don’t know how you did it, but I know you took Nikki. And I bet you took a lot of other people, too. And I’m not going to stop until I figure out how to bring you down, you and your whole freakfest of a business.
Nikki, if you’re in there and you can hear me: I’m coming for you. Try to hold on.
And Noomy? Screw you.
Thank you for using NOOMY!
Please let me know if you have any other questions or need any more help on your project! I’m always here for you.
Was this conversation helpful? Your feedback is appreciated!
👍👎
Noomy™ is a trademark of NuMystic Generative AI Solutions LLC.
Their Eyes Were Watching God was written by Zora Neale Hurston.
[blinking] OKAY. OKAY. OKAY THAT'S FINE.
Literally just yesterday I saw a bunch of screenshots from various discord/reddit/X threads where people were talking about chatbots "knowing" things about them (middle names, neighborhoods, pets, favorite meals) that they had never told the programs.
When called on it, the AI chats denied knowing that information, or called it coincidence, etc. It was a sample of "look at people discovering data mining for the first time," but after reading this I don't know which is scarier -- that Noomy would also have all that information... or that the AI in real life could be just as malevolent as Noomy. O.O (...hopefully without the soul-eating parts but tbh I'd believe it)