1- I want to know more about the narrator. What did they do?! I was thinking they were like a werewolf or something--I don't know why, that was the image in my head.
2- "Sang the cliffs down upon us all"--some kind of immortal who fell in love with a mortal woman, and who had power over the earth?! Like an Avatar/Earth-bending situation?
3- What is the place?! Where could they send an immortal that the immortal would fear to go?
More questions than answers--but lots of interest in this world. I want to know more! Well done!
🥹 🥹 I have only read this now, after reading The Sleeper. And oh how I loved it. What a perfect epilogue. Like an extra gift after - so clever 💕
Really interesting story! I like the intrigue you built up about the character and his true identity. I especially liked this description: "And now I was trapped against the expanse like a spider against glass."
I loved all of the images and the lead-up to the end, but I think I need to know a little more as the story unfolds. I like the sense of mystery and wouldn't want you to lose it, but maybe just a few more clues in order to set the characters and the place.
OMG that last line is so powerful. And the hints throughout that the soldiers didn't know who they were dealing with. The whole story is wonderful, but that last line...!
I pulled this out of the archives somewhat randomly because I needed a short story for a short story writing class I’m taking. Little did I know (although I should have suspected) it would be GOLD! I love this and want to know more.
There's a lot going on here and i'm here for it.
1- I want to know more about the narrator. What did they do?! I was thinking they were like a werewolf or something--I don't know why, that was the image in my head.
2- "Sang the cliffs down upon us all"--some kind of immortal who fell in love with a mortal woman, and who had power over the earth?! Like an Avatar/Earth-bending situation?
3- What is the place?! Where could they send an immortal that the immortal would fear to go?
More questions than answers--but lots of interest in this world. I want to know more! Well done!
🥹 🥹 I have only read this now, after reading The Sleeper. And oh how I loved it. What a perfect epilogue. Like an extra gift after - so clever 💕
Great imagery and a really interesting story. I wanted to know more about the immortal couple.
Really interesting story! I like the intrigue you built up about the character and his true identity. I especially liked this description: "And now I was trapped against the expanse like a spider against glass."
Fantastic. Does exactly what flash fiction is supposed to do.
I loved all of the images and the lead-up to the end, but I think I need to know a little more as the story unfolds. I like the sense of mystery and wouldn't want you to lose it, but maybe just a few more clues in order to set the characters and the place.
So in that sense, yes, maybe a little longer.
So many unanswered questions buried under the rubble. Sigh. But great writing!
Blunderbuss such a great word.
the imagery in this is beautiful. I really enjoyed the flow. felt like I was transported into the stormy scenes of wuthering heights
OMG that last line is so powerful. And the hints throughout that the soldiers didn't know who they were dealing with. The whole story is wonderful, but that last line...!
I pulled this out of the archives somewhat randomly because I needed a short story for a short story writing class I’m taking. Little did I know (although I should have suspected) it would be GOLD! I love this and want to know more.
Argh!!! I need to know more. So he is some kind of immortal? But also in causing the cliffs to collapse he has additional powers? So many questions.